Just 10 years ago people would be afraid to tell their friends and family they were signed up to R.S.V.P with a monthly membership fee because they didn’t want others to think they were desperate. Fast forward the clock and dating websites are more accessible than ever, free, easy to use (one finger swipe functionality) and a wide variety of candidates.
I too joined this bandwagon plenty of times which now seem like years behind me but there’s one thing that’s for sure. I would love to meet someone face to face, eye to eye and greeted by a ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi my names Katherine.’ I don’t have anything wrong with internet dating. If anything, I have friends who have found love through this new avenue or it could be ideal for those who are working in industries where it is challenging to meet others of the opposite sex; a mining industry or a farmer perhaps? But for the rest of us, what’s our excuse? Have we become too afraid to let ourselves go, our ego and become vulnerable and interact with people, person to person, eye to eye, cheek to cheek?
In a world where people are too afraid to make human interactions. We are becoming a society of technology rather than people. We do not talk to the stranger sitting next to us on the bus or train anymore. It’s days like these gone from when I used to work in the city, with my daily commute and striking up a conversation with the person next you was normal. This is no longer considered the norm, we now have our earphones plugged in listening to the latest tunes dropped by our favourite artists. Now you’re filtering through over 100’s of faces popping up on a screen and bunch of ‘hey how are you’s’ start to accumulate in an inbox. You’ve painted the best picture of yourself with your profile photos and about me blurb. You ask the usual questions ‘how old are you?’, ‘where are you from?’ and ‘what’s your occupation?’ But have we completely missed the point here, that the most crucial part or any kind of relationship is to have that connection? I love meeting people, all kinds of people. But there’s nothing that beats that feeling when you’re talking to someone and you feel so drawn to them. The more you talk the deeper you feel and start to sink into your feet. Your laugh gets louder, you smile gets wider, your stomach starts churning and you can’t seem to slow your pace as you talk. I love these kinds of interactions. They’re my favourite kind!
I’m also an avid believer that when this connection is established; that the guy should be the one to make that next move. Not as a stereotype but I feel like the guy feels more accomplished when he asks a girl out. He is challenging his inner masculinity which I feel is completely necessary for his confidence and ego. The chase has begun and he has to earn what will be his. With time, effort and a little patience he will begin a journey through courtship. Although us as girls can do everything a man is capable of doing, we should allow them to do what they need to do.
“Ladies, do not go out looking for love. Let love find you. Do diamonds go floating about in the sea washing up against the shore? No! You are worth searching for like a diamond among the depths of the earth.”
Through my many years of dating failures and heartbreaks I’ve slowly realised that I’m valuable, precious and I’m not going to settle for anything but exhilarating, fun, authetic, mind blowing, supportive yet challenging kinds of relationships in any form or style (Yes this also includes my choice of friends!) I’m very picky with people in my life because I believe you become who you are surrounded with. No I’m not judgemental but when I was younger I let everyone in, trusted everyone and always wore my heart on my sleeve. I soon realised that these people passing through my life were not worthy of knowing the deepest and most intimate parts of my hearts past, present and future wonderings so I learned to protect myself. It was challenging to practice this as I believe I’m quite a transparent person, I’m the WORST liar and if I feel the need to express how I feel I may just tell you.
So if I have these expectations for friends and peers what makes you think I would settle for anything less than this in a partner? I honestly don’t think I’d find the same qualities in life that I’ve developed swiping through a page of guys like a filter; easy, dispensable and replaceable.
Also, don’t be afraid to be alone and just date for the sake of dating. I feel like the times of my life when I did this I was feeling mostly lonely. It’s a recipe for disaster. You keep jumping from one person to another and you don’t give yourself a chance to stop, pause, look yourself in the mirror to say ‘I’m okay, it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay.’ And just be okay with that. That you’ll be fine and have that sense of peace that you know no one can fill that void inside you other than
I believe that love will ALWAYS find you.
No matter where in the world you are, what you’re doing or who you’re with. Why look for love when you can look for ways to love yourself more? Being your happiest, truest most authentic person you can truly be. Always remember that your fairytale does exist and…
“Don’t settle for anything less than… He treats me like a Princess”